Life Changing
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: There are just some secrets one can't keep hidden forever. This is a secret Logan has hidden for way too long. But will he trust Kendall and let him in? Or keep his secret hidden for no one to know?


**Anyone up for some Kogie bromance? :) This is dedicated to my best friend, MikaMikaru! Love ya, buddy! :D Hope you like it! I tried writing something happy... and well, this is kind of a bitter-sweet story. You guys will see what I mean. ;)**

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"Why do you have a scar on your wrist?"

The first time Kendall had popped the question was back when they were in third grade; the first year of their friendship. Being only eight years old, Logan had looked down at his sneakers and mumbled a quiet "I don't know" in his friend's direction, without looking him in the eyes. Kendall left it at that, knowing that whatever was the reason for the deep scar on Logan's wrist, it was something the little brunette didn't want to share.

But that had been eight years ago. Kendall's concern and curiosity had grown over the years, as well as had his friendship with Logan. He wanted to know what had caused Logan to have that unfading scar. And being the stubborn boy that he was, he wasn't afraid to question Logan once again.

The cold winter air bit at their skin, sending shivers up and down both their bodies. Because it was nearing the holidays, Gustavo had allowed the boys to go back home to celebrate Christmas with their families. And that is where Kendall and Logan found themselves; walking in the icy streets of Minnesota. Both boys wore warm jackets, jeans and boots on them. While Logan wore nothing on his head, Kendall wore his favorite beanie. It was the grey beanie his father had given him before he had passed away.

Kendall stuffed his hands inside his pockets as he looked up at the tiny, white snowflakes falling from the darkened sky. His emerald orbs seemed to glow with a childish sparkle as he turned to look at the boy walking beside him. He goofily stuck his tongue out and caught a falling snowflake, making the shorter boy laugh. He giggled. It was nice to be back home, even if it was just for a couple of weeks.

"Come on, Logan! I wanna get home before Katie finishes all the squishy marshmallows! You know how she is. And if my hot chocolate doesn't have marshmallows in it, then I won't drink it." He crossed his arms over his chest before smiling and pulling Logan forward. He might have been taller, but when it came to strength, he never won a match against Logan. His grip on the smaller boy loosened when he realized Logan was keeping his ground. "Logie?"

Suddenly he saw it. As his eyes averted downward, he caught the sight of the scar slashed across the pale boy's wrist. His gaze stayed there for a moment before he looked up to meet Logan's eyes. The brunette looked even paler than normal. His eyes seemed to be filled with what appeared to be pain and fear. Biting his lower lip, Kendall took a hold of Logan's hand and led them to the comfort of their warm house, where Mrs. Knight already had a tray with hot chocolate set up on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Hey mom," he greeted his mother as he stood in front of the coffee table. "Logan and I are gonna head upstairs. Is it okay if we drink our hot chocolate up there?"

"Sure, sweetie." She smiled at the two boys who seemed to have a solemn look on their faces. "Is everything alright?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah," he said as he turned to Logan, "everything's fine, mom." He gave his mother a small smile and then grabbed a cup, which he handed to Logan. After grabbing his own and putting some marshmallows inside the hot liquid, he took a hold of Logan's hand once again and led the way upstairs.

Kendall closed their bedroom door behind him as they entered the room. He set the steaming cup of hot chocolate on the nightstand that stood in between their two beds without even taking a sip. For now the delecacy was forgotten, as his thoughts were somewhere else.

"Logan, take a seat," he instructed the silent boy with a point of his finger towards his bed on the far left corner of the room, near the window. Logan did as he was told without a single protest. He nervously sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at his fingers with what appeared to be great interest. His intentions of not looking Kendall in the eyes flew out the window as the younger boy kneeled down in front of him, placing a gentle hand on his knee.

"I don't want to talk about it, Kendall," Logan muttered under his breath. His eyes seemed to be glued to his hands as he did so. Kendall, however, did not take that as an answer. He slowly stood up and took a seat beside the quiet brunette, then snaking an arm around his shoulders.

"Logie, you know you can tell me anything, right? We're best friends," he pointed out in a whisper that seemed to land on deaf ears. Logan didn't even reply to his question; he just sat there with his eyes straight ahead. It seemed like he was looking anywhere but into Kendall's eyes. "Logan, I-"

"What do you want to hear, Kendall?" Logan asked once he had finally turned to the blond. "That after my mother died I started to cut myself. Is that what you want to hear? That I couldn't take the pain of losing the most important person in my life, so at the age of eight I decided that I wanted to die. Do you know how pathetic and weak that makes me sound?" He looked back down at his hands as salty tears started to gather in his eyes. "I'm such a failure."

Kendall sat there with an expression of shock written all over his face. Being Logan's best friend, he had known about Logan's mother dying when he was just six years old and about the horrible abuse the smaller boy had gone through at such a young age by his very own father. But he had never expected to hear anything about Logan cutting himself.

"You c-cut yourself?" he asked quietly. Logan just gave a little nod, not trusting his voice. "But why?"

Logan sighed. "Because... I was tired of my dad. I just wanted to be back with my mom. I had no friends, Kendall. I was just tired of life."

"What made you stop?" Kendall asked before he could stop himself. The hold he had around Logan's shoulders was never removed. He scooted closer to the brunette and rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

Logan looked up, meeting Kendall's warm gaze. He smiled, a genuine smile. Their eyes met; chocolate brown boring into emerald and emerald boring into chocolate brown. "You," he said with a smirk on his face. His cheeks turned a light pink from embarrassment.

"Me?" Kendall raised a bushy eyebrow in what appeared to be a questioning look.

"Yeah, you," Logan responded. "Like I said; I had no friends. You were my first friend. I guess that with our friendship I realized that what I was doing was wrong. Cutting wouldn't solve any of my problems. I may have been broken, but I knew you could fix me, and you did." He looked up at Kendall, seeing the kindness he had come to know so well. "Thanks for that. You may not have known, but you helped me like no one else did."

Kendall gave Logan a small smile as he wrapped both arms around him and pulled him close. "You don't have to thank me, Logie. You've returned the favor many times, like when my dad died. While everyone else left me to have my own space, you stuck by my side, knowing very well that I needed someone there for me. I may have said I didn't, but I did." He rested his head against Logan's shoulder and let a lone tear fall. "I love you, Logie."

Logan smiled and rested his head against Kendall's as he wrapped both arms around him as well. "I love you too, Kenny," he whispered back; sincerity dripping from every word.

Soon enough, the two boys found themselves lying on Kendall's bed with cups that were supposed to hold hot chocolate in their hands.

"You know, I hate cold hot chocolate," Kendall said with a chuckle. Logan, beside him, laughed at the younger boy's words.

"Cold hot chocolate? What is that even supposed to mean?" he asked with a grin. Kendall just shrugged and continued to drink the cold hot chocolate.

"You know, your bed is about two feet away," Kendall pointed out after a few seconds of comfortable silence. "Why the heck are you lying on mine?" He tried to give Logan an annoyed look but ended up giggling when he noticed the hot chocolate mustache right above the older boy's lips. "You have a little something," he said, finger pointing to where Logan had chocolate smeared on his face.

With a smile, Logan licked his lip. "There, all clean. As for your question... I like your bed better than mine."

"Why?" Kendall asked, curiosity clear in his eyes.

"Because if I wasn't on your bed, and wasn't close enough to you, then I wouldn't be able to do this..." In a split second Kendall's beanie was removed from his blond head and Logan was running out of the room.

Kendall laid there with a confused look on his face. "Go ahead and take it! Without you here there's more bed for me!" He chuckled at his own joke before placing the cup back on the nightstand and closing his eyes.

Within five minutes, Kendall was fast asleep as Logan walked back into the room wearing Kendall's grey beanie on his head. The brunette grinned as he laid back down beside Kendall and closed his eyes. "Good night, Kenny."

A faint smile appeared on Kendall's face. "G'night, Logie."

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**Eeeeeep! Today Big Time Surprise comes out. I heard that Lucy's ex-boyfriend is the one that is returning, not Jo. Let's just hope Jo returns too, 'cause if she doesn't... I'm gonna be mad. Lol.**

**Did you guys like the story? Hope you did! Thanks for reading!**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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